In Memoriam: Ciro #2, Nov. 2000 - Feb. 2012, Part 3

About a month before I moved into the house, end of 2005, we saw a first sign of his illness. I wasn't there at the time, but my brother had Ciro on the shoulder while he was sitting in front of the computer. The way he described it to me, Ciro kind of stiffened, held tightly to his shirt, and almost fell down. The next time it happened, he did fall to the floor, and started bouncing around while flattering and twitching. It only lasted a minute, and our first thought was that he maybe fell down while still asleep, and then was just in shock. But then as I read about it over the next months, even years, we came to conclusion that he suffered from a form of epilepsy. Some sources claimed that epilepsy is fairly common among lovebirds, while others said if wasn't. But the symptoms looked just the same to us.

In the next years he continued having seizures irregularly. They would last 1-2 minutes, were mostly months apart, but sometimes more frequent. We had terrible experience with vets back in Bosnia, had no confidence in them, so I delayed taking Ciro to the vet. One pair of lovebirds that my birds Ciro and Zeljka had in Bosnia, which we gave away, also developed seizures later in life. Eventually they had them repeatedly every day, in the last few days of their life, which was probably the cause of their death. My Ciro's seizures were not that frequent, so we learned to kind of just live with it.

In mid 2009, Ciro's flying first started to get erratic. He would sometimes miss the landing spot and struggle to land or crash on the ground. At first it was kind of funny, and we would tease him about his landing skills. I worried that there was maybe something wrong with his eye sight, but he followed objects with his eyes so that was probably not it. One time in July 2009 he started flying from the window in the dining room toward the formal living room, through a pretty wide and high passage in the wall. He somehow managed to hit the edge of that wall and fell down. It left a huge scar right next to his left eye, which was also the side where he hit the forehead on the glass all those years ago. Again, there was no blood, and he seemed alert, but still it was very scary.

Another scary flying experience happened in early 2010, when he crashed from ceiling height down to the floor. Other times it wasn't even flying that was the problem. If he was perched somewhere up high, like kitchen cabinet or shower door, and he looses balance, because of a seizure or just when his balance got really bad, he would fall down to the floor. And it was hard to tell a stubborn lovebird not to fly at all.

By mid 2010 he was still flying but crashing more often. I tried to discourage him from flying long distance or high up. I remember when in Sep. 2010, while we were spending days on installing floors in my room, we had Ciro there next to us. We would let him walk around and chew on papers to keep him busy, but every now and then he would want to fly up on the window coverings. We had to keep a close eye on him not to fly, because he would crash, but at the same time let him be outside of the cage and not be neglected.

By the end of the year he struggled to even jump from the table to the couch. It's not that he didn't have the strength, or that his wings were not functioning. It's that there was something wrong with his balance and he started to be afraid of flying.

I took him to the vet for the first time on Sep. 22nd 2010, to the Research Pet and Bird Hospital. (Actually, we were at a vet for the first time at Wells Branch Pet & Bird Clinic on May 11th 2009, when I thought she was egg bound - but she wasn't (see, Ciro is now a "she" again). That was another poor experience, when the vet, for $40, wasn't sure if she was feeling her rib cage or pelvis!) There are few good avian vets in Austin, and this new place was recommended on several web sites. We saw Dr. Anneliese Strunk, and from the beginning I was not very happy with her. She might have been knowledgeable, but she kept wanting to do many tests.

The main reason for our visit was worsening of Ciro's balance. But the dr. had all sorts of ideas of what could be wrong, including egg yolk stroke. I was confident it wasn't it, since the condition has been slowly getting worse over months, not a new thing, but the vet insisted that before we can do a blood work, she had to do an ultrasound. She was concerned about laying Ciro to the side for blood work if there was some fluid from the abdomen that could get to her head. I was present for the ultrasound, which looks pretty much like human ultrasound, and she found what I think she called an "undeveloped follicle" with some pockets of fluid in the abdomen. The vet then wanted to poke Ciro's belly with a needle to drain some of that fluid, but thankfully Ciro was wiggly enough not to allow her to continue with the needle! He was quite tired after this, so the vet suggested we come back the next day for the blood draw. It eventually showed no infection, normal white blood count, which assumed no tumor and normal liver and kidney function. Over $300 later, we were still nowhere closer to the answer to the issue we came there for - what is causing her balance problems. The vet, of course, suggested further tests, all the way to an MRI which they don't have, but in the end said that it could be some neurological thing that they could never have an answer for.

So we went home, with no answers, and just an advice to make sure he doesn't hurt himself trying to fly or fall down. It took several months to adjust to no flying. For few months Ciro could fly down from the cage, but not up. I then hung a fabric, old red drapes, from his cage on the side table down to the floor. He learned to climb down and up on it, and would then walk around the main living area on the floor. Once he learned to do that, we were just fine. I could leave the room with his cage open and know that he can get in and out without falling. We just had to pay attention where we step, because he walked all over the place. One of the favorite places was to get under the coffee table and shred any papers he found there. He would also occasionally practice his wings, or "exercise" as we called it, by just flapping his wings while still attached to the floor. It worked best while he was on those drapes on the floor because he could hold on to them.

Without him flying and looking for trouble, we spent more time together playing and cuddling. He could spend couple of hours just sitting in front of my chin while I lay on the couch, and just give me kisses. For a while he could still sit on my shoulder when I moved around, but that became dangerous about six months ago. I would then always hold him in my hand while I walked. If he was not in the cage, or his blanket (drapes), or on the table surrounded by towels, we would snuggle on the couch together.

He loved singing to himself, when he thought no one was around, but would stop abruptly when he'd see us and get ready for some action!

When he stopped flying, I even took him outside and let him walk in the grass, gathering twigs, but he didn't like being away from me for too long.

Life was good until that dreadful event from July 17th 2011, when Ciro had seizures all day.

 

In the week that followed, I was uncertain if he was going to make it. But he did. He was such a fighter! I was able to have Dr. Paul Skellenger at Research Pet and Bird Hospital see him this time, whom I liked much better than the other vet, and he had administered a few feedings (over $200). After a week on in-home intensive care, and lots and lots of love and attention, he recovered. I even switched him to the pellets diet in a couple of weeks, which was supposed to be better for him than just seeds. He was again his new normal self, and was able to get down his blanket and walk around. Even so, I was quite worried when I knew I had to leave him at the end of August, for my trip to Bosnia, and for the first few days he had to stay with a friend. My friend Norma did a great job taking care of Ciro, and Ciro did really well playing with them and moving around, no calls to the vet were needed!

Then in November 2011, his balance got progressively worse again. Within weeks he seemed to get from getting down the blanket, walking around the house and chirping, to falling to the side when standing. His seizures got more frequent, too, about 2-4, even 5 a week. My brother urged me to take him to the vet as soon as possible. We went to Dr. Skellenger again, and he suggested doing the heavy metal testing. My gut feeling told it can't be it, because I knew where Ciro moves, and that there was virtually no way he could have been exposed. But of all the options, that was the only one that had a concrete possible result and real treatment meds. The vet took what I thought was a huge amount of blood, for zinc and led testing, and I left with my poor exhausted Ciro hoping I was doing all that I can to help him. On one hand I was hoping it would be positive just so that we would have some treatment plan, but on the other I of course didn't want him to have the poisoning.

The test results came back a week later - negative. I was devastated. I think that was the first time I felt there is nothing else I can do to help him. Now the options for testing were much more radical, for slow growing tumors, slow developing liver or kidney diseases .... all of which, according to this vet, had less than 5% of being detected, and even less of being properly treated. At that point I decided to not do any more tests, but just try to adjust to his new state as best as possible, and make him as comfortable as I can. And I took lots of pictures of him in the last few months.

He was no longer able stand on the perches without falling frequently, so I moved all his food bowls on the bottom of the cage. Eventually I lined it with wash cloths because he would get his feet stuck between the wires on the bottom and had a hard time getting them out. He had no more use for the draped blanket, so I had to transfer him to the floor when I wanted him to get out and make sure the cage door was closed so he can't get out and fall from the table's edge. In the last month he couldn't even get out by himself. There were couple of weeks when he had nightly seizures, like at 3am, and I would get up to calm him down and would then lay on the couch with him for a while.

End of November/start of December also brought the terrible car issues and Zoran leaving us for a few months. This was just a start of a very stressful period when I was constantly torn to spend more time with Ciro, and offer more care, more attention, make best decisions based on his condition that changed daily. During those solo car-search days, I had to take Ciro to the vet for daily observations and feedings, which gave me a peace of mind that he is getting the care when I could not do it.

When mom arrived in mid December, he pretty much stopped walking at all, because he would just spin in circles until he freaks out and starts seizing. Mom did a great job taking care of him, making sure he eats, and is well cared for. Ever since his day long seizure in July, I had a skype video connection from work pretty much all the time, so I could see how he is doing and if I needed to come back home for lunch to feed him. My time with mom was always limited to just few hours away from home at a time, because we couldn't leave Ciro alone for longer without making sure he ate, since he could no longer move around in his cage. We kind of dictated his eating schedule, and would stress when he doesn't eat when offered. We never knew if he's just not in the mood to eat at the moment, or if he is getting too weak. The mood in the house was somber when we'd sit for an hour and he refused to eat, but all cheery when he ate for us for an hour! That was the best present for our eyes.

During the last couple of months, I spent almost $450 on vet visit. When I now add all those bills over the last two years, it totals to about $1000. My mom jokingly said that I could have bought 10 new birds for that much, but I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. I felt he was a gift given to me and it was my responsibility to give him the best care possible. He didn't choose me, I chose him, and I had the responsibility and was completely emotionally invested to help him as much as I could. That bond cannot be purchased and replaced.

Ciro became such a cuddler as he got more sick. He was dependent on me completely, which gave me opportunity to be near him all my free time. Having to go to work, or any other place I had to go, I was always stressed, wanting to get home and check on him. And with mom being here, I was torn wanting to spend some quality time with her, go places with her, and just be there with her, but part of my mind was always with Ciro. Just two weeks ago, after feeling emotionally and physically drained, we were able to take that lovely vacation together. We relaxed, spent every minute together without any need to be apart, enjoyed the most awesome weather outside, and took walks together. I am SO blessed to have had that opportunity.

A week before that trip, I found a pea-size lump under his throat. It could have been a tumor, but I also thought it might be an enlarged thyroid gland, whichtoo could have been attributing to his rapid weight loss. I got a gram scale few months ago, just for him, and he could barely stay at 50 grams. For comparison, he had 64 grams in Sep. 2010 and 58 grams in July 2011. In the last few days, he only had 48 grams. That is 17% weight loss in just 6 months! About a month ago I found a bruise on his right shoulder, after I saw him holding the wing up. The vet checked that the bone was not damaged, but even after the bruise went down, he continued holding the wing up. I think there might have been another lump on his shoulder which made him raise the wing, so that and the other lump on the throat....who knows how he suffered.

In the last few weeks Ciro's condition was changing daily. He would be really weak one day, falling to the side and not being able to stand without leaning onto something and I would have to feed him formula. Then the next day he would perk up, do something to surprise us how well he was, like bite us, chirp, or even make a few steps. He still had seizures at least 3 times a week. When we got back on Saturday, and on Sunday morning, I had to feed him because he didn't want to eat. The rest of Sunday he ate better, and even started walking around. (I even dared to say how he made it to see Zoran when he comes back on Tuesday) We would put a towel on the coffee of dining table, surround him with other towels, while offering him food, and that day he wanted to walk around. I was so happy to see him that way. In general, his balance was much better lately, compared to December when for days he would be falling to the side and not be able to stand without help. To see him actually walk now, even if it meant few steps, and not too much control, was a progress for me.

On Monday, Feb 6th, morning he was even more active, even slid down my leg to the floor while on the coffee table (by accident). I even washed his head and wings a bit, as he seemed good enough to groom himself later, and to be clean after being hand-handled so much lately. He didn't want to eat, so instead of spending another hour struggling with that, or leaving it to my mom, being stressed that he's not eating, and then maybe having to come home for lunch, I again made him the formula. He usually took that stuff right away, and ate continually. But that morning he really had a hard time with it. He was eating it really slow and with difficulty. I was thinking more and more that the lump in the throat is making it hard for him to eat. He ate so-so two more times during the day, as I watched him over skype from work, and the last time I saw him was about 3PM. Mom then took a nap with him, and was hoping he'll eat better afterwards.

But, after 4 he suddenly got really weak, could not even hold his head up, much less eat. Mom did her best to try to get him to eat, tried giving him the sweet potato mash balls I made for him recently, which he usually loved, but his head was just falling. Mom was telling me how he is not eating anything, that I need to feed him as soon as I get home. She weighted him and at one point he even had 46 grams, so she was freaking out. At one point she even told me he was dying, but that wasn't the first time she thought it was his end. He also had several loose stools, which is never good, but I thought it's probably from being washed in the morning and it usually doesn't have drastic effects on the bird that quickly. But I guess he was really weak already.

At 5.40-5:45 she asked me when I was coming home. I said I'll leave in 15 minutes, around 6. She understood 5 minutes, and we no longer communicated over skype. I tried to call the vet again, left messages about that possible thyroid gland issue, and was waiting to hear back from her till 6.15. As I was leaving the building, mom called my cell, but the battery died before I could answer it. I feared the worse. As I pulled to the driveway, I saw mom through the blinds standing in the hallway. My gut told me this was it. As I walked in, she was sobbing in the kitchen, holding my Ciro, now dead for 45 minutes. Ciro #2 died in my mom's hands, just as Ciro #1 did.

We were sobbing together for hours that evening...

It took me over a week to be able to write about this. It was also really hard telling Zoran about it when we picked him up from the airport just 24 hours later. We buried Ciro on Feb 8th in our backyard. To say it was hard doesn't scratch the surface of how I felt. I had lots of "what ifs" and "could haves", lots of doubt and guilt about the decisions I made over the last months. For the sake of my sanity, I had to conclude that I've done the best I could, and that this poor little lovebird probably died from the complications from that lump in his throat, which made it hard for him to eat, and maybe even breathe.

Rest in peace, my dear Ciro. You were a great fighter and made me want to fight even more for you to live despite all your obstacles. We got many hours to spend together in the last few months, but especially days. It makes me a bit more at ease that your last days you got to spend in the nature, seeing beautiful things and hearing sounds of birds. Now you can fly again in the birdie heaven, free of all disease and pain. Love you. Lots.

In Memoriam: Ciro #2, Nov. 2000 - Feb. 2012, Part 2

Ciro adjusted nicely as a family member. He was free to roam around almost all the time while we were at home, he shared our family dinners, and went on trips with us.

 

We almost lost him just after we moved into the house. Since he was so clever, he figured out how to open his cage door. We had a clip on it, and when we took it off, he would open the door for himself. But then he also figured out how to slide up the little side door for his food bowls. The door didn't stay up, so for him to get out he had to slide it up and then quickly jump out before the door slided back down. One day, on Good Friday 2006, while I was at work, my brother left him on the patio table while he was inside the house. Ciro didn't care that much for being left outside alone, so he kept pushing up that door until he finally got out. At the moment my brother heard him make the noise with the door, he ran out but just in time to see Ciro fly away to the nearest tree!

He called me frantically at work, I quickly made a flyer with his picture, and rushed home. By the time I got there, my brother was already running with the cage through the neighborhood following his loud chirping sound. I posted couple of flyers on the mailboxes and joined in the search. Ciro was at that time one block away, parked on a tallest tree in someone's backyard, and chirping his heart away! He responded better to my chirp calls then Zoran's, so I started calling for him so that we can follow where he is by the sound, as we couldn't see him that high any more. When it was apparent which tree he was in, we asked the owners to get into their yard to try to get Ciro to come down. Next, Zoran went up on their roof with the cage, so that Ciro could see him better and come down, and I kept calling him. He spent probably about 3-4 hours on that roof, got sunburn in 90 degree heat, and I jaw cramps from making the same sound, but Ciro wouldn't move. Since it was going to get dark soon, I had the idea to try the magic oven mitt, or paper towels, both of which he loved to attack. We borrowed some extra long ladders, taped a paper towel to some long metal pole, and Zoran climbed up the tree as far as he could go. After some more calling and encouraging, Ciro finally came down to grab the paper. That was one long day!

THE oven mitt

Aside from that one event, he didn't seem too excited when we took him in the cage outside. He didn't respond to other bird calls outside. He also had little opportunity to play with other birds. When he was still a youngster, some good friends of mine had a parrot larger than Ciro, and we would pet-sit for each other, and sometimes bring our birds when we visited. Ciro had no issue with the other bird's size, and would chase him around.

Ciro and Kiki

He loved to take showers. While we were in the apartment, since he loved the kitchen so much, he didn't mind bathing in the kitchen sink.

He also used any opportunity he got to shower in the bathroom sync, but he was fine with just a plate with some water, too. He was also known to splash in the glass of water! He got used to drinking water or juice from the glass, so the next obvious step was bathing in it, right?

 

After several years, I got an idea to build him a play station. I actually first bought one, and then realized it was simple enough I could make it myself and returned the one I bought. After few uses, I noticed that often when I place him on the perch there, he would first poop, and then look disinterested to do anything else there. So I got some bird cage litter sand, and from then on we used it as a "potty station"! It worked really well. He learned that's what it's for pretty fast, and would do his job as soon as I'd place him there. Even if he can't "produce" anything at the moment, he would still try and make the familiar motion. Certain times a year when he was in nesting mode, I'd hang a wire ball with paper pieces inside of it and he learned to just fly directly on there, do his thing, and collect papers instead from the other resources in the house.

Potty-station version 2 was an even better hit.

Like most lovebirds, Ciro never learned any words. They just have that raspy, high pitch voice, that makes any words they might learn not recognizable. But he learned sounds. He had a particular sound he would make after a cough, another one after a sneeze. We would say that he was making fun of us for coughing/sneezing. He also learned to imitate a squeaky kitchen faucet I had, and he would make the sound as soon as he'd see someone approach the faucet. It was really funny. Oh, and I can't forget a terrifying sound he'd make when he felt danger. There was a neigborhood cat that used to run through our backyard. As soon as he would see her, even if he was inside the house, by the noise he would make we knew without a doubt that the cat was nearby.

Calling for help from the squirrel

The one word he really tried to say, I think, was his name Ciro (Cheero). Sometimes if I said it right in front of him, or emphasize the first letter, his response would sound almost the same. Or when we played giving kisses, he would flap his wings and got all excited to respond back.

The sweetest sounds were when he was half asleep and singing himself a lullaby. He usually did this only when he couldn't see anyone around. Here I caught him singing and then played the recording back to him. He went nuts trying to figure out where the sound was coming from. So adorable!

 

He had so many of these cute moments and tricks, that when I talked about him to one breeder in Bosnia, he had me compile a DVD so that he could show it on his bird tv show!

Ciro ate many table foods with us. Probably more than he should have. Until the last six months, I only fed him a seed mix, with some sunflower, and some treats, all of which were full of fat (I didn't know that at the time). He enjoyed apples, grapes, and cherries. With us he would eat anything from carrots, peas, rice, bell peppers...to cheese, cookies, even chocolate (again a very bad thing for him - which I didn't know). The weird bird would even go for raw eggs when he saw them poured in a bowl for mixing, but we really tried to get him away from those. He really enjoyed certain multi-grain bread we'd share with him. He could spend an hour devouring a slice to get all the grains out. He LOVED ice cream! Like get-his-whole-beak-in-there and get-it-all-over-his-face type of loved.

mmm, cake!

He was pretty much into chewing on paper (or blinds, or anything he could tear up) up until the last year. When he was nesting, it was the worst. He was then not interested in anything else, just to find something to shred. He knew what a stern NO meant. I was convinced he knew. And he would stop what he was about to get into. For a second. But I would eventually have to get up and remove him from the situation, because that bird was stubborn! I would be rich if I had a penny for every time I had to chase him away from the blinds. All the cords have his marks on them. The arch window coverings took the worst beating. The large one in the main living area had to come down, because it was literally in pieces after he was done with it. The smaller one in my room was a big temptation for him every time the door to the room was even a bit open. He would wait on the corner of the kitchen cabinet for an opportunity to sneak into the room when I was not looking.

rascal

Ciro started laying eggs around the age of 2 years, and up to about 8.5. She usually had 4 eggs, and I would let her lay on them for a couple of weeks. If I removed them earlier, her body would produce new eggs right after, which was very draining on her. After 2 weeks she was ready to move on. She had eggs 2-3 times a year, but the last two times she only laid one eggs. The very last egg was a bit soft, and I was afraid she might start having issues from then on. That is why I took her to the vet for the first time thinking she had trouble passing an egg, but luckily that wasn't the case.

He was not sure what to make of this game

His demeanor and habits changed drastically in the last couple of years, especially last few months, when his sickness got worse...

In Memoriam: Ciro #2, Nov. 2000 - Feb. 2012, Part 1

In less than a year, I experience the loss of another dear little lovebird, Ciro. Words cannot express how I felt...and still feel, which is why I've been delaying writing about this.

Just as the first time, this will be a long post as I recollect many memories of this little companion.

I got Ciro as soon as I moved to Austin, around February 2011, when he was about 3-4 months old, so he lived for about 11.5 years. I missed my bird Ciro in Bosnia so much, that I named this bird Ciro as well. I got him as a male, and Ciro is a male name, but it wasn't until two years later that I discovered Ciro was a girl: there were eggs! Nonetheless, I kept the name, and kept referring to her as "him".

Ciro was very, very wild when I got him. He would flatter all over the cage when someone just as much as walked by it. At first, it took few weeks for him to not react so frantically when I'd pass by. Then I would approach the cage, and stand there until he completely calmed down, which might have been 20 minutes. That went on for couple of weeks. Next, we moved onto me touching the cage and waiting for him to calm down. When we mastered that stage, and I could touch the cage without him going all berserk, we started training with my hand inside the cage. This probably required the most patience, as I had to sit motionless with my hand inside the cage for up to two hours at a time before he would calm down. This lasted another few weeks, until finally, after about couple of months, I could have him sit on my hand inside the cage. I kept talking to him and telling him how one day he'll love being in my hand and me patting, scratching, and grooming him. And, oh boy, how true would that be!

I have no idea now what prompted me to do that, but when he was in my apartment for just 3 days, we let him out of the cage to fly a bit. I had a big sliding door leading to the balcony, and at the moment the blinds were not closed all the way on the side. Ciro, not familiar with the surroundings at all, not knowing where to land in the apartment, and still afraid of me to come to me, he flew into the sliding door glass, head first! He fell to the floor, several feathers around him, and a scar on the side of his forehead. Poor thing. :( There was no blood, thank goodness, but I always wondered what lasting consequences that hit might have caused.

Ciro's 1st photo, above the sliding glass door. His first month at home.

Within the first year, Ciro found his favorite places around the apartment, and had no trouble maneuvering into any rooms. He was tame to step up on my finger or sit on my shoulder. It made it much easier to get him back into the cage, although he knew when he didn't want to go back in. We somehow discovered that we can easily get him to jump into an oven mitt, which he would attack fearlessly, and that always worked to get him back into the cage. At one point he became very protective of the cage, and all we had to do was call his name with a stern voice, sometimes with hand clapping, and he'd come right back flying into his cage.

Over the next few years, Ciro became a great play mate. A mischievous little thing, I always had to keep an eye on him. When she started laying eggs (the only time I referred to Ciro as a "she" was when I'd talk about her egg laying events), she started chewing on....everything! Any paper left around was a fare game. I remember getting a basket for bills I planned on keeping next to the phone. No way Ciro would allow it! That didn't last a week and I had to move it. He loved getting into the books and albums on the living room shelf. If it was quiet, I knew he was into something. That clapping thing to get him back into the cage worked really well then. Cords on the window blinds were another casualty, but I didn't care so much about those - I was only renting there!

He also loved hanging out in the kitchen. He liked making noise, although not as much as Ciro #1, but the main attraction for him were all the hiding places in the kitchen. As soon as I'd open the drawer, he'd jet inside and peak from the back. And you better not stick your hand in there; you literally might loose a piece of your skin! He found it first, and anyone else who wants it better be ready for some serious beak power. I had to pry him out with utensils, or with that magic oven mitt.

After a few years, and repeated practice, he figured out how to open and get inside one kitchen cabinet. I know, you'd never think a bird this small would be strong enough to open a kitchen cabinet door. But this little one was stubborn, persistent, and had a mighty strong beak. He would get on the corner of that upper cabinet and repeatedly push it open until he succeeded to open it just enough to quickly slide inside. And when I then open the door, he would beam with excitement! He could get in, but not out. I was afraid he might get in while I am doing something else for some period of time, and then maybe freak out if he can't get out for several minutes. I decided to get some lock for the door. I remember asking at a hardware store for a child safety lock, and explaining I don't need anything fancy, just something small enough to work for a bird. I got weird looks.

But he also could be very gentle. He absolutely loved giving kisses, and could easily spend couple of hours parked in front of my face and ever so sweetly giving kisses.

Those first five years we've spent in the apartment, Ciro was an absolute rascal. Nothing was out of reach for him, and I still have things that have his beak marks on it. He even got into the bathroom and chewed on the shower curtain!

Gosh, thinking back on these stories and remembering Ciro in the last year or so, seems like worlds apart! It feels like those were two different birds.

A Week of Uncertainties: Day 4-8

On day four Ciro continued to make small progress. :) She even vocalized a bit in the morning and responded with motion when I called her. She only ate a bit of grape the night before, and few hand-fed seeds when we went for another feeding in morning at the vet. They took a more accurate weight measurement (since she was moving a lot yesterday) and she actually has 58 grams. Very slim!

I left her at home and setup a monitoring system of sorts; I couldn't find a monitoring software without time limitations, so I had skype connection open with my brother and he was on it during the day. I had all her bowls down on the floor level in the cage, but she was not used to eating there so she climbed up a few times looking for food at her usual place. She didn't eat anything during the day.

That evening we had another freak-out: She seemed willing to eat. She ate seeds, grape, and a treat. I then offered her some food from plate as I ate at the coffee table. She took a bite of a carrot, chewed for a second, and in time it took me to take a bite she wobbled to the edge of the table and fell down! I freaked out! This was certainly not the first time she fell off of that coffee table, but usually she just lands on her feet and moves on. She also landed on her feet this time, but when I picked her up I think she just freaked out too. Few seconds later she started to stiffen, raise her wings, tilt her head back, as if she was going to start seizing again. I held her, started getting that Valium and syringes out, looking at the watch to see how long it will last. But, thankfully, it last maybe just 15 sec. I think she was just in shock. She was fine after that, didn't feel weak like after a seizure, and was soon grooming her self in the cage. Whew! I felt just terrible....

On Thursday she continued to make progress. I figured out how to have a new skype account at home automatically pick up a video call when I call from work, so I was monitoring her every day since then. She spent 70% of daytime hours sleeping and the rest moving around in her cage. In the evening she climbed into her tent to sleep, which is where she usually sleeps, so it was a signal to me that she doesn't need the ICU of towels at the bottom any more.

Friday I got her some pallet mix at Petco, Kaytee Exact Rainbow Parakeet/Lovebird, but it may take weeks before she starts accepting it as the only food. I saw they also have Fruity and Veggie versions of this brand so I might look for those as well.

On Saturday we went in for another weigh in, and I was really hoping she has gained 1-2 grams, but she hasn't. The tech used two different methods to weigh her, and both times she was around 57.7gr. Last time I think they rounded it to 58gr. I offered her formula with applesauce few more times, but she started eating her own food more on her own. I guess it will just take some time to gain that little weight back. Who would have thought 2 grams is such a big deal.

Sunday afternoon we had another scare: she was in her tent taking a nap and chirping as she often does while napping. And out of the blue, still in the tent, she start seizing. I quickly grab her, struggling to pull her out of the tent, and held her little twitching body. Luckily, this again lasted just 15sec. She was fine few minutes later.

So that was our roller-coaster week. She is still not fully stable, easily flips if she moves too much, gets scared and then feels weak. I hope that as she continues to eat she will gain her energy back enough to be her normal self again.

A Week of Uncertainties: Day 2&3

Monday morning I was awaken by a neighbor's dog at 6.18AM. Way early. With a bit of fear I reached down inside the cage next to me, still in the dark. And Ciro bit me! I don't think I was ever before happy when she bit me. :)

She got some energy back! She was still sitting in the little hide-out place I made for her, and I don't think she left that place the entire night. But she had enough energy to stand on it and not be laying down.

My brother came in around 8am to stay here while I went to work. Before I left I managed to hand-feed her 10-15 seeds and couple of bites of grapes. I think I also managed to give her two bites of mashed carrots, but she didn't like that texture. She usually likes to bite on cooked carrots, but she was not happy with that mush. And she seemed to get tired from me handling her and forcing her to eat. It was now harder to use the dropper because she wiggled and turned her head away.

I called the vet again, Dr. J. and left another urgent, sweet message. I finally got to talk to her around noon, but her schedule was full for most of the week. She told me maybe Tuesday afternoon she might have one opening, but it was very iffy and she wasn't going to know for sure until the morning. She recommended I get some baby-bird feeding formula and start feeding her that. My brother tried feeding her at home and she slid down his legs on the floor. So, he concluded he can't do the feedings. I then got the formula, went home and did my best to feed her a little bit of that mix. I think she ate maybe just 2ml, though. I felt like she was loosing more energy fighting me off than she was gaining from the little formula I got into her.

She was relaxing the rest of the day on the towels in her cage. I put a heating pad underneath so she wouldn't loose extra energy trying to stay warm. Lovebirds' body temp is 104F and they burn quite a bit of energy just to keep that temp going. In the evening, when she was all cuddled under my chin as we were both relaxing on the couch, I offered her some food again. She took, and I counted, 60 seeds over 10 minutes. I was so happy to see her eat by herself and not get tired after every bite! Couple of hours later she again took grape from my fingers and ate for another 10 minutes!

That was amazingly hopeful end of the day. We both slept better that night; she with a full belly, and me knowing she ate something willingly.

Tuesday morning she seemed alert again, even groomed herself a bit. But she was not interested in eating at all. I stayed and worked from home that day.

Mid morning was a complete 180 from how she seemed first thing in the morning. She all of a sudden seemed really weak. So much so that I thought it was the end. She was flipping to the side, couldn't hold her head, and I even thought she twitched couple of times. My first thought was to try to make her eat again, so with one hand I managed to mix that formula and give a bit to her. Maybe half of that little dropper. Even that weak she was wiggling away.

I got in touch with Dr. J. again, and she unfortunately was not going to be able to see us that day. She recommended another vet at a clinic where we were before, and in the meantime to try giving her something sweet for immediate energy. I gave her some mashed apple and honey, and she came back a bit.

Luckily, that vet agreed to postpone his surgery and see us in the afternoon. Ciro did pretty well, was more alert but it was probably a mask. She was 60gr, vs 64gr last time at the vet. He stated that to really know what's going on with seizures, he'd have to do testing, starting with blood work and on. I liked that he didn't push any testing at the moment. He concluded that we should give her nutrients to make her stronger. So the decision was made to give her few feedings, with a tube down her throat. We had couple of those in the afternoon, 4 hours apart. He also gave me a little bottle of Valium, syringes, and lube, for if she has another long seizure. I would give her the smallest doze, 0.02ml, and more if that doesn't have effect.

In the evening she was again more alert and grooming herself. So she got a burst of energy she needed. We boarded for another night in the ICU - towels and heating pad in the cage sitting next to my bed.

A Week of Uncertainties: Day 1

I have been delaying to write about this until we are completely out of the woods. I don't think we are there yet. So, I am writing this with cautious optimism.

At 4.50 AM last Sunday morning I heard Ciro banging in his cage. It wasn't too loud as when she has her regular seizures, but it was still more loud than her moving around. I hesitated for a moment before leaving room, and then I heard it again. I got to the cage to find her trashing at the bottom of the cage. I picked her up as she was twitching and contorting.

Her regular seizures last 1-2 minutes, and then she feels week for 10-15 more minutes after which she is fine. So, I didn't even turn the lights on thinking this will be short. But it kept on. She was stiff, her wings twitching, and head tilting. After 10 minutes she got few minutes of break, but then the seizure started again. This went on and off for about 30 minutes.

But then the breaks stopped and she just kept seizing. It was actually not exactly the same as the regular seizures. She was twitching inward, instead of tilting her head backward. It still had a strong hold of her. I kept holding her, folding her wings and straightening her head. It was painful to watch. I turned the lights on and started praying.

I called one emergency animal clinic in Round Rock at 6.30AM, but since they don't accept birds they referred me to another emergency clinic on 183. When I called that place I had to repeat 4-5 times that I have a lovebird. The girl couldn't understand the name, even asked "what, a lab bird?" That of course didn't give me any confidence that they are bird experts, even though the girl said they see birds. She said they would try to stabilize her until I can get her to an avian expert on Monday.

At around 8AM she finally calmed down. We laid down on the couch to get some more sleep. That lasted around and hour, and then I felt every now and then she breaks a little twitch. She was still in my left hand. Around 10AM the twitches became more intense and frequent.

At this point she has been in my hand for 5 hours. She was in the same position, leaning with her right side onto my fingers. I could see her left side twitching, her little head bobbing to the left side, her left wing/shoulder raising up and the left leg twitching up toward the head. I wrapped her in a towel and left on the couch while I went to wash my hands and face.

Then I went on the Internet. Ciro was still twitching every two seconds with her left side. She was wrapped up to her head because her left leg was uncontrollably hitting her head. With one hand I was stroking her head and with another looking for answers on the web. I even called one place in Arizona that was open on Sunday and they told me to keep her warm and try to feed her something.

When we had baby lovebirds in Sarajevo, we used to mix sweet cookies, hard boiled egg yolks with some water and give that paste to the parents to feed the chicks. So I combined that with orange juice and some mashed apple and force fed her with my fingers around noon. My brother and his wife came around 4PM and brought syringes, so it helped with the feeding and water.

I left a message to the only good avian vet I heard about in Austin, Dr. Jakubowsky who has a traveling clinic. I also posted on several web sites looking for some answers. On justanswer.com I got in touch with a great avian pet S. August Abbott (who is also an ordained minister!) at around 5.30PM. We had several communications that day, and were in touch over the next days.

Ciro's twitching slowed down around 6PM, but she was making little noises with almost every breath. She was very weak and was leaning/falling on the right side. I kept trying to feed her that egg mixture, few bites of grapes and some mashed carrot. By 9-10PM the twitching finally stopped. That's around 15 hours.

I made a little fort with kitchen towels for her in the bottom of the cage, put all her food bowls around it, and another towel on the top. I placed the cage next to me overnight. She was calm but completely exhausted and was just laying down.

I was exhausted too.

In Memoriam: Ciro #1, Nov. 1995 - Apr. 2011

My dear little bird Ciro in Sarajevo died today at 11.30am Bosnian time. He was 15.5 (or 16.5) years old. We got him around March 8th, but not sure if it was '96 or '95, during those war time years. He was about 4 months old when we got him, so he was born at the end of '95 or '94.

I want to document his life here. And his passing. For my own sake. While the emotions are still raw. Death is never easy to come to terms with. Death of a pet, one that was part of our lives for so long. On some level it seems as if death of a pet is harder to accept, and those who have not had pets don't understand what it means.

It is so final. It will be a long post, as I want to record many memories of him here.

His name doesn't have a special meaning, but it's the same name as elephant Dumbo had in Bosnian translation of that cartoon. He got in trouble a lot, and his mother had to call out to him to find him, "Ciiiirooo, Ciiirooo..." and he was kind of like that - hence the same name.

When we first got him, from a lady named Slavica who was raising about 50 lovebirds in her apartment, he was pretty wild. I would spend, literally, hours at a time with my hand motionless inside his cage for him to get used to it. It took probably couple of months, at least, before he was not afraid of the hand and would stand on my finger. When he was about 6 months old, in his cage outside on the balcony, on a nice summer day, we found him on the bottom of the cage laying down, literally, on his belly, his had tilted to the side and his wings relaxed. We thought something happened to him. When he heard us he woke up. He was just relaxing in the sun. Until then, we've never seen a bird laying like that, but he discovered it to be so good. Ever since, he often would sleep like that, in his cage, in our hands, or talking naps with mom under a blanket.

He soon got so used to us handling him, that he was completely content snuggling with us, totally relaxed in our hands. And it wasn't just standing relaxed on our palm; no, it was lay-down-head-touching-hand-drop-wings-not-use-legs type of relaxed. Complete and utter surrendering.

His feathers were beautiful colors; bright red head and chest, two tones of green on his stomach, back, and wings, and turquoise lower back. When he was about year old he started plucking his tail feathers. At first it was just a spot, about 1cm round, and it was a wound for months. We tried all sorts of things, ointments, a neck collar, baby powder, red paprika...and nothing worked. He would pull feathers out, hop in circles from pain, but still do it again. In about 6 months he had no more tail. It used to be beautiful, black with red and turquoise feathers. It was all gone. He was still able to fly with no problems. And he was still super adorable, just lacked some feathers. Some told us he is craving more attention, but all the extra time we spent with him, and extra toys, and nothing helped. Not even a female bird.

While we lived in Dobrinja, he escaped several times. He flew outside of the apartment at least 10 times. He would find a barely opened window, and get out on the street, fly down to a tree, or neighbour's window/balcony. Sometimes we were able to just pick him up if he was somewhere low, or we'd have to go ring on person's apartment if he flew up high. He always waited for us to come get him, instead of coming down to us. We'd usually see the moment when he flies out, so would be able to track the direction he went. One time, however, we just noticed he was not in the apartment. We kind of panicked, because it could have been couple of hours since we last saw him. We did a quick search in front of our building, but didn't see him. We then came back in to quickly write down some fliers to put on buildings around. Realizing this search would take few hours, I decided to grab some chocolate from the refrigerator before I leave. I remember putting inside some pudding with whip cream on the top couple of hours before that. When I opened the refrigerator, guess who flew out - Ciro! He was covered in whip cream, and scared and cold, not sure where he was for those two hours. He must have landed on a pudding bowl inside while I was putting the rest of them in, and just shut the door on him. He was so happy to see us. So were we!

During one of his escapades, he found himself a wife. He got out through the balcony on one side of the building, and couple of hours later landed on our balcony on the opposite side of the building. We never understood how he was able to figure that out; to go around the building, 8 story, 8 entrances building, and out of so many windows and balconies find ours. Three days later, on that same balcony, landed a female lovebird. Now, lovebirds are not so common pets in Sarajevo, so for one to just land on our balcony, plus be a female, and it happening just a few days after his little adventure - he must have found her and explained to her how to get there, we concluded. We named her Zeljka, because it rimes with Znatizeljka - the curious one. We used to call Ciro Zeljko - Znatizeljko, because he really was curious, and used to say we should have named him Zeljko, so when she came along, we gave her that name. But he was really the curious one. He always had to be in the center of any action; dish washing, hammering, any noise producing...anything that was happening, he would be at the tip of our fingers to see first hand what's going on.

Zeljka was a wild one, and never got to be as tame as Ciro. We had her for 4 years, and only that last year she was comfortable enough to sit on our finger, but even then, very cautiously. They had about 4-5 nests, with about 4-5 babies each, so in total they had about 20 children. We gave away or sold all of them. Ciro was a great husband and father. While Zeljka was inside their nest box, and one of us would approach the cage, he would run inside and stand on top of her to protect her. :) He actually stood on top so he would see through the hole. She would stop feeding the chicks after just a few weeks, and then Ciro would step in. She was jealous of them, even, so he had to feed her as well. I remember him frantically going to each of those mouths to feed them all. When the chicks were old enough to get out of the nest, we would put them on the floor and he'd teach them how to walk. He was so cute with them, kind of encouraging them and showing them to come closer to him. It was the same with flying. He would walk and chirp around them, then fly away a bit and call them to come. The chicks, and Zeljka, wanted to be fed even once they could fly, and I remember him looking kind of out of his mind when all 5 would always follow him wherever he went.

He never mastered the nest making. Zeljka was an expert at it, chewing strains of paper or twigs, sticking them in her back feathers, and then flying with them into the cage. Ciro didn't have any feathers on his lower back, so he couldn't put any twigs there, but he also couldn't cut a straight line. It was funny when he would just stand next to Zeljka while she worked on those papers and then start pulling those pieces out of her back, before she would take them to the nest.

But he was always jealous when we tried to give any attention to Zeljka. We would get excited when she would build up the courage to get on our hand, but then he would come and chase her away. Or if they were both standing on the arm, he had to be closer to us. He always was such "maza" (cuddler). :) He absolutely loved having his head scratched. For hours. He looked like he was in nirvana, tilting his head in all directions, completely loose and relaxed. He would let us do anything to him. We would flip him upside down, with his little feet up in the air. My brother had a special hand motion to make him do that. I would grab him tight on the side of the wings, and play little airplane with him.

Ciro was so sweet when blowing kisses. We taught him that by kissing his beak while bringing our head forward. He then learned the sound but also the motion as well. He would then stretch his little head a bit to the side, toward us, and make the sweetest kissing sound: "pssth". He at first would just repeat it when we would kiss him, but later he did it on his own, when he just felt like sending kisses, like when he is grateful we took him out of the cage, or just when he is happy sitting on our shoulder. Such a sweet gesture.

He was always ready to play. He absolutely went nuts when we'd start clicking with something, like metal against the glass or ceramic, which produced high pitch sound. His face would change, his feathers all pull tight, his eyes wide open, he'd start walking around quickly, chirp, fly away and then come back instantly. It was just so amusing to play with him that way. It was never boring with him. Since he loved banging noise, he loved to throw things off the table; pens, scissors, little plates or spoons in the kitchen, even remote control he would drag to the edge to throw down. Later he learned to even grab little plates under coffee cups, because that made noise when the cups flipped over, so we had to watch out for him when having coffee. He loved to play with ladles or small metal pot covers that would spin on the aluminum top next to kitchen sink. He would grab it and raise it high and then let it go so it spins. That gave him tons of enjoyment.

Video: "Throwing scissors on command" from Ciro #1

The cutest game was hitting with a pen or scissors against something and then raising it high and holding it like that for a moment. Ciro would repeat that motion with his head, and raise his head real high, stretch his legs to stand taller, and freeze like that. Then we hit again, and he'd raise the head even higher, and stay motionless, intently waiting for our next move. After few times his excitement gets over the top, and he starts chirping, has to fly away and returns in a second for more fun. Loved that one!

Since he didn't have all the feathers, he always seemed to enjoy being warmed up. One of his favorite places was sitting on top of a warm pot cover in the kitchen. His little cross feet together, on the cover handle while the rest of the metal was too hot, and then he would come down and lay on the metal to soak up the warmth till there is none left. His cage was on a table in the kitchen for most of the year, until winter when both him and mom would bunker down in the warm living room. He loved exploring the kitchen, chew on papers on the top of the cabinets, the warm pots, the noise making possibilities of the utensils on the aluminum sink top. He took his baths always only, only on top of the sink in one corner, under the dripping faucet. Mom didn't have warm water most of the time from the faucet, and the cold water in Sarajevo is really cold, so he would quickly run and splatter under that cold water. He really would barely wet himself, but, because of the missing feathers, would look and feel quite helpless when he was wet. He would groom himself and liked to be scratched for a long time afterwards.

Ciro loved chocolate, even though we much later found out birds were not supposed to have any. He knew how the packaged chocolate looks like, and would chew through the wrapping to get to it. He liked sugar too, but couldn't figure out how to get the top off from the sugar cup. Zeljka was an expert at it, so he would just stand next to it and wait for her to open it. He went nuts for 'Lokum' biscuit that mom had with tea every morning. He would bounce impenitently until she would give him a piece on his plate on the table. He always ate really, really fast, as if someone was chasing him, which just added to the cuteness of how much he was enjoying his treat. He ate many of the human food: peas, pasta, rice, beans (he'd get them all over his face :)), apples, oranges...And yet, he was always very slender. All that flying kept his figure. Plus the lack of feathers made him look thinner.

Video: "Cuddling" from Ciro #1

He loved to fly; hence all of his escapes. In the morning he would do laps and fly from one side of the apartment to another in circles. He'd do this for half an hour in absolute joy to be alive. If he heard birds outside he'd fly onto the curtains. When I played with him on the coffee table by spinning a plastic coaster, he loved to quickly fly to the kitchen, just besides himself from joy, and then in a second fly back for more play.

Ciro would get super excited whenever he heard other birds, either outside or on TV. He'd start chirping and flying around. He would even get on top of the TV and look down on the screen to figure out where the sound was coming from. He always loved to play with other birds, too. Whenever we'd take him somewhere where there were other pet birds, he would be the friendliest bird ever. When I would talk on the phone with my mom, she would always put him on the phone, and he would respond when I call out to him, and especially if he heard my bird chirping. He was just such a happy bird.

He had lots of excitements in his life. He went through a move to another apartment and adjustments to find his new favorite places. He stayed in several other places when we were traveling somewhere. Mom would take him in her hand, instead of cage, when she visited some friends in the neighbourhood. He was especially spoiled once mom retired and was able to spend more time with him. They had their routine. He would take long naps with her, just curled up under a blanked with her. He would just get under the blanket when he saw her laying down on the couch, lay down with his head on the side, and peacefully sleep for an hour or two. Or if mom laid down in the other room and he was not tired, he would fly to the door and wait for her quietly.

Ciro always prefered to sleep laying down than on the pearch, or swing like some other birds we've had before. During and in years after nesting, he slept in the (empty) nest box. Once we got him his tent, he loved it. He always had one side reserved for entrance and the other for exit. He was particular in that way. :) He never cared much for mirrors, again unlike the parakeets we had before. He had one in the cage, just to block an opening, but he never used it. He did love a shining pendulum on a wall clock, and whenever the door was a bit open, he'd sneak in and stop it. He had a thing for clocks, or clicking sounds, or just noise in general.

Video: "Playing with remote" from Ciro #1

He knew how to get under our skin, and do the cutest things that would make us love him just that much more. One of his favorite games was of him hiding behind some picture frames and mom trying to get to him. He had his favorite alarm clock that mom better not touch when he is close. He loved to flip it over and then stand on it while it's ticking. While she was on the computer he had to be there right on her hand. When she was washing the dishes he was right on her hand. He had his favorite chair where he would fly to poop.

He was slowly getting worse over the last few months. First, he was able to fly less and less starting about 6 months ago. A measure of success got smaller and smaller. At first it was a success if he could fly from a cabinet on one wall to one on another wall. Then if he could fly from one couch to another. Then if he could even fly from a shelf down onto the rug. He was at that stage for several months, including three months mom was here in the US and her friend Ljelja was taking care of him, which she did an amazing job of. They celebrated the New Year's together and she took this last photo we have of Ciro.

In the last 40 days since mom got back to Sarajevo, it was apparent he was getting progresivelly older. His flying down onto the carpet was more like a flop. He would sleep more, and generally not be interested in much play. Then about 10 days ago, after mom left him on a top shelf to play, she found him a bit later on the lower shelf of the cabinet that is sticking out. He probably fell trying to let himself jump on the carpet. But maybe he just jumped down to this shelf. It appeared his right leg was hurting, but he could still stand on it. Mom nursed him the following days, holding him in her hand for most of the day while she was at home, putting a little towel on the bottom of his cage where he could lay, giving him to eat from table and her hand, and just lots of love and attention. During this time he stopped chirping all together. She was really torn about her Saturday day-trip she had planned for before, but since he appeared to be eating and standing that morning, she decided to go. She wasn't able to enjoy it all, though, because constantly she was thinking about Ciro, and how he'll be when she comes back. During this entire time mom was constantly under stress if he will be alive when she gets back home from anywhere, or when she uncovers him in the morning. She told me several times she doesn't know she can endure this trial.

In the last 5 days he was loosing his balance a lot, swaying from side to side, and backwards. Since he doesn't have any tail to balance when he sways back, he would often flip on his back and then start panicking and flapping his wings. Mom would leave him in his tent in the cage and had to drag him out to take him, and the entire time she was home she would hold him. On Monday he barely ate anything, but gave us a glimpse of hope in the evening when mom held up the food for him, while holding him from both sides so he wouldn't fall, and he ate for a full hour. On Tuesday he again ate very little, again was swaying, and slept in mom's hand and shoulder the entire time she was home. He even pooped twice on her while laying down, which he rarely ever did, which meant he just was not moving enough to let her know he needs to go. This morning he wouldn't eat again and was very lethargic, his head down and eyes closed almost the entire time, his breathing heavy. Around 11.15, he opened up his eyes wide, and mom walked him around the house and on the balcony for the next ten minutes, talking to him and giving kisses. After having his eyes closed for most of the time in the last days, having him look at her wide eyed for so long was so strange. As if he was taking it all in one last time. Or asking for help. For those ten minutes, that will forever stay engraved in mom's memory (and probably mine, too, through her telling me about it), they looked intently at each other, saying their good byes. She showed him everything one last time. He lowered down his wings. Relaxed his head on her fingers. Took few short breaths. And then just expired in her hand around 11.30. It sounded like he went peacefully. I hope he wasn't in pain. But it was a torture to watch.

He will be laid down to rest near his wife Zeljka in our back yard in Sarajevo. Rest in peace, dear Ciro. You were the best little bird we ever had. You are irreplaceable.

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