About a month before I moved into the house, end of 2005, we saw a first sign of his illness. I wasn't there at the time, but my brother had Ciro on the shoulder while he was sitting in front of the computer. The way he described it to me, Ciro kind of stiffened, held tightly to his shirt, and almost fell down. The next time it happened, he did fall to the floor, and started bouncing around while flattering and twitching. It only lasted a minute, and our first thought was that he maybe fell down while still asleep, and then was just in shock. But then as I read about it over the next months, even years, we came to conclusion that he suffered from a form of epilepsy. Some sources claimed that epilepsy is fairly common among lovebirds, while others said if wasn't. But the symptoms looked just the same to us.
In the next years he continued having seizures irregularly. They would last 1-2 minutes, were mostly months apart, but sometimes more frequent. We had terrible experience with vets back in Bosnia, had no confidence in them, so I delayed taking Ciro to the vet. One pair of lovebirds that my birds Ciro and Zeljka had in Bosnia, which we gave away, also developed seizures later in life. Eventually they had them repeatedly every day, in the last few days of their life, which was probably the cause of their death. My Ciro's seizures were not that frequent, so we learned to kind of just live with it.
In mid 2009, Ciro's flying first started to get erratic. He would sometimes miss the landing spot and struggle to land or crash on the ground. At first it was kind of funny, and we would tease him about his landing skills. I worried that there was maybe something wrong with his eye sight, but he followed objects with his eyes so that was probably not it. One time in July 2009 he started flying from the window in the dining room toward the formal living room, through a pretty wide and high passage in the wall. He somehow managed to hit the edge of that wall and fell down. It left a huge scar right next to his left eye, which was also the side where he hit the forehead on the glass all those years ago. Again, there was no blood, and he seemed alert, but still it was very scary.
Another scary flying experience happened in early 2010, when he crashed from ceiling height down to the floor. Other times it wasn't even flying that was the problem. If he was perched somewhere up high, like kitchen cabinet or shower door, and he looses balance, because of a seizure or just when his balance got really bad, he would fall down to the floor. And it was hard to tell a stubborn lovebird not to fly at all.
By mid 2010 he was still flying but crashing more often. I tried to discourage him from flying long distance or high up. I remember when in Sep. 2010, while we were spending days on installing floors in my room, we had Ciro there next to us. We would let him walk around and chew on papers to keep him busy, but every now and then he would want to fly up on the window coverings. We had to keep a close eye on him not to fly, because he would crash, but at the same time let him be outside of the cage and not be neglected.
By the end of the year he struggled to even jump from the table to the couch. It's not that he didn't have the strength, or that his wings were not functioning. It's that there was something wrong with his balance and he started to be afraid of flying.
I took him to the vet for the first time on Sep. 22nd 2010, to the Research Pet and Bird Hospital. (Actually, we were at a vet for the first time at Wells Branch Pet & Bird Clinic on May 11th 2009, when I thought she was egg bound - but she wasn't (see, Ciro is now a "she" again). That was another poor experience, when the vet, for $40, wasn't sure if she was feeling her rib cage or pelvis!) There are few good avian vets in Austin, and this new place was recommended on several web sites. We saw Dr. Anneliese Strunk, and from the beginning I was not very happy with her. She might have been knowledgeable, but she kept wanting to do many tests.
The main reason for our visit was worsening of Ciro's balance. But the dr. had all sorts of ideas of what could be wrong, including egg yolk stroke. I was confident it wasn't it, since the condition has been slowly getting worse over months, not a new thing, but the vet insisted that before we can do a blood work, she had to do an ultrasound. She was concerned about laying Ciro to the side for blood work if there was some fluid from the abdomen that could get to her head. I was present for the ultrasound, which looks pretty much like human ultrasound, and she found what I think she called an "undeveloped follicle" with some pockets of fluid in the abdomen. The vet then wanted to poke Ciro's belly with a needle to drain some of that fluid, but thankfully Ciro was wiggly enough not to allow her to continue with the needle! He was quite tired after this, so the vet suggested we come back the next day for the blood draw. It eventually showed no infection, normal white blood count, which assumed no tumor and normal liver and kidney function. Over $300 later, we were still nowhere closer to the answer to the issue we came there for - what is causing her balance problems. The vet, of course, suggested further tests, all the way to an MRI which they don't have, but in the end said that it could be some neurological thing that they could never have an answer for.
So we went home, with no answers, and just an advice to make sure he doesn't hurt himself trying to fly or fall down. It took several months to adjust to no flying. For few months Ciro could fly down from the cage, but not up. I then hung a fabric, old red drapes, from his cage on the side table down to the floor. He learned to climb down and up on it, and would then walk around the main living area on the floor. Once he learned to do that, we were just fine. I could leave the room with his cage open and know that he can get in and out without falling. We just had to pay attention where we step, because he walked all over the place. One of the favorite places was to get under the coffee table and shred any papers he found there. He would also occasionally practice his wings, or "exercise" as we called it, by just flapping his wings while still attached to the floor. It worked best while he was on those drapes on the floor because he could hold on to them.
Without him flying and looking for trouble, we spent more time together playing and cuddling. He could spend couple of hours just sitting in front of my chin while I lay on the couch, and just give me kisses. For a while he could still sit on my shoulder when I moved around, but that became dangerous about six months ago. I would then always hold him in my hand while I walked. If he was not in the cage, or his blanket (drapes), or on the table surrounded by towels, we would snuggle on the couch together.
He loved singing to himself, when he thought no one was around, but would stop abruptly when he'd see us and get ready for some action!
When he stopped flying, I even took him outside and let him walk in the grass, gathering twigs, but he didn't like being away from me for too long.
Life was good until that dreadful event from July 17th 2011, when Ciro had seizures all day.
In the week that followed, I was uncertain if he was going to make it. But he did. He was such a fighter! I was able to have Dr. Paul Skellenger at Research Pet and Bird Hospital see him this time, whom I liked much better than the other vet, and he had administered a few feedings (over $200). After a week on in-home intensive care, and lots and lots of love and attention, he recovered. I even switched him to the pellets diet in a couple of weeks, which was supposed to be better for him than just seeds. He was again his new normal self, and was able to get down his blanket and walk around. Even so, I was quite worried when I knew I had to leave him at the end of August, for my trip to Bosnia, and for the first few days he had to stay with a friend. My friend Norma did a great job taking care of Ciro, and Ciro did really well playing with them and moving around, no calls to the vet were needed!
Then in November 2011, his balance got progressively worse again. Within weeks he seemed to get from getting down the blanket, walking around the house and chirping, to falling to the side when standing. His seizures got more frequent, too, about 2-4, even 5 a week. My brother urged me to take him to the vet as soon as possible. We went to Dr. Skellenger again, and he suggested doing the heavy metal testing. My gut feeling told it can't be it, because I knew where Ciro moves, and that there was virtually no way he could have been exposed. But of all the options, that was the only one that had a concrete possible result and real treatment meds. The vet took what I thought was a huge amount of blood, for zinc and led testing, and I left with my poor exhausted Ciro hoping I was doing all that I can to help him. On one hand I was hoping it would be positive just so that we would have some treatment plan, but on the other I of course didn't want him to have the poisoning.
The test results came back a week later - negative. I was devastated. I think that was the first time I felt there is nothing else I can do to help him. Now the options for testing were much more radical, for slow growing tumors, slow developing liver or kidney diseases .... all of which, according to this vet, had less than 5% of being detected, and even less of being properly treated. At that point I decided to not do any more tests, but just try to adjust to his new state as best as possible, and make him as comfortable as I can. And I took lots of pictures of him in the last few months.
He was no longer able stand on the perches without falling frequently, so I moved all his food bowls on the bottom of the cage. Eventually I lined it with wash cloths because he would get his feet stuck between the wires on the bottom and had a hard time getting them out. He had no more use for the draped blanket, so I had to transfer him to the floor when I wanted him to get out and make sure the cage door was closed so he can't get out and fall from the table's edge. In the last month he couldn't even get out by himself. There were couple of weeks when he had nightly seizures, like at 3am, and I would get up to calm him down and would then lay on the couch with him for a while.
End of November/start of December also brought the terrible car issues and Zoran leaving us for a few months. This was just a start of a very stressful period when I was constantly torn to spend more time with Ciro, and offer more care, more attention, make best decisions based on his condition that changed daily. During those solo car-search days, I had to take Ciro to the vet for daily observations and feedings, which gave me a peace of mind that he is getting the care when I could not do it.
When mom arrived in mid December, he pretty much stopped walking at all, because he would just spin in circles until he freaks out and starts seizing. Mom did a great job taking care of him, making sure he eats, and is well cared for. Ever since his day long seizure in July, I had a skype video connection from work pretty much all the time, so I could see how he is doing and if I needed to come back home for lunch to feed him. My time with mom was always limited to just few hours away from home at a time, because we couldn't leave Ciro alone for longer without making sure he ate, since he could no longer move around in his cage. We kind of dictated his eating schedule, and would stress when he doesn't eat when offered. We never knew if he's just not in the mood to eat at the moment, or if he is getting too weak. The mood in the house was somber when we'd sit for an hour and he refused to eat, but all cheery when he ate for us for an hour! That was the best present for our eyes.
During the last couple of months, I spent almost $450 on vet visit. When I now add all those bills over the last two years, it totals to about $1000. My mom jokingly said that I could have bought 10 new birds for that much, but I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. I felt he was a gift given to me and it was my responsibility to give him the best care possible. He didn't choose me, I chose him, and I had the responsibility and was completely emotionally invested to help him as much as I could. That bond cannot be purchased and replaced.
Ciro became such a cuddler as he got more sick. He was dependent on me completely, which gave me opportunity to be near him all my free time. Having to go to work, or any other place I had to go, I was always stressed, wanting to get home and check on him. And with mom being here, I was torn wanting to spend some quality time with her, go places with her, and just be there with her, but part of my mind was always with Ciro. Just two weeks ago, after feeling emotionally and physically drained, we were able to take that lovely vacation together. We relaxed, spent every minute together without any need to be apart, enjoyed the most awesome weather outside, and took walks together. I am SO blessed to have had that opportunity.
A week before that trip, I found a pea-size lump under his throat. It could have been a tumor, but I also thought it might be an enlarged thyroid gland, whichtoo could have been attributing to his rapid weight loss. I got a gram scale few months ago, just for him, and he could barely stay at 50 grams. For comparison, he had 64 grams in Sep. 2010 and 58 grams in July 2011. In the last few days, he only had 48 grams. That is 17% weight loss in just 6 months! About a month ago I found a bruise on his right shoulder, after I saw him holding the wing up. The vet checked that the bone was not damaged, but even after the bruise went down, he continued holding the wing up. I think there might have been another lump on his shoulder which made him raise the wing, so that and the other lump on the throat....who knows how he suffered.
In the last few weeks Ciro's condition was changing daily. He would be really weak one day, falling to the side and not being able to stand without leaning onto something and I would have to feed him formula. Then the next day he would perk up, do something to surprise us how well he was, like bite us, chirp, or even make a few steps. He still had seizures at least 3 times a week. When we got back on Saturday, and on Sunday morning, I had to feed him because he didn't want to eat. The rest of Sunday he ate better, and even started walking around. (I even dared to say how he made it to see Zoran when he comes back on Tuesday) We would put a towel on the coffee of dining table, surround him with other towels, while offering him food, and that day he wanted to walk around. I was so happy to see him that way. In general, his balance was much better lately, compared to December when for days he would be falling to the side and not be able to stand without help. To see him actually walk now, even if it meant few steps, and not too much control, was a progress for me.
On Monday, Feb 6th, morning he was even more active, even slid down my leg to the floor while on the coffee table (by accident). I even washed his head and wings a bit, as he seemed good enough to groom himself later, and to be clean after being hand-handled so much lately. He didn't want to eat, so instead of spending another hour struggling with that, or leaving it to my mom, being stressed that he's not eating, and then maybe having to come home for lunch, I again made him the formula. He usually took that stuff right away, and ate continually. But that morning he really had a hard time with it. He was eating it really slow and with difficulty. I was thinking more and more that the lump in the throat is making it hard for him to eat. He ate so-so two more times during the day, as I watched him over skype from work, and the last time I saw him was about 3PM. Mom then took a nap with him, and was hoping he'll eat better afterwards.
But, after 4 he suddenly got really weak, could not even hold his head up, much less eat. Mom did her best to try to get him to eat, tried giving him the sweet potato mash balls I made for him recently, which he usually loved, but his head was just falling. Mom was telling me how he is not eating anything, that I need to feed him as soon as I get home. She weighted him and at one point he even had 46 grams, so she was freaking out. At one point she even told me he was dying, but that wasn't the first time she thought it was his end. He also had several loose stools, which is never good, but I thought it's probably from being washed in the morning and it usually doesn't have drastic effects on the bird that quickly. But I guess he was really weak already.
At 5.40-5:45 she asked me when I was coming home. I said I'll leave in 15 minutes, around 6. She understood 5 minutes, and we no longer communicated over skype. I tried to call the vet again, left messages about that possible thyroid gland issue, and was waiting to hear back from her till 6.15. As I was leaving the building, mom called my cell, but the battery died before I could answer it. I feared the worse. As I pulled to the driveway, I saw mom through the blinds standing in the hallway. My gut told me this was it. As I walked in, she was sobbing in the kitchen, holding my Ciro, now dead for 45 minutes. Ciro #2 died in my mom's hands, just as Ciro #1 did.
We were sobbing together for hours that evening...
It took me over a week to be able to write about this. It was also really hard telling Zoran about it when we picked him up from the airport just 24 hours later. We buried Ciro on Feb 8th in our backyard. To say it was hard doesn't scratch the surface of how I felt. I had lots of "what ifs" and "could haves", lots of doubt and guilt about the decisions I made over the last months. For the sake of my sanity, I had to conclude that I've done the best I could, and that this poor little lovebird probably died from the complications from that lump in his throat, which made it hard for him to eat, and maybe even breathe.
Rest in peace, my dear Ciro. You were a great fighter and made me want to fight even more for you to live despite all your obstacles. We got many hours to spend together in the last few months, but especially days. It makes me a bit more at ease that your last days you got to spend in the nature, seeing beautiful things and hearing sounds of birds. Now you can fly again in the birdie heaven, free of all disease and pain. Love you. Lots.
